A Great and Melodramatic Conflict.
May. 7th, 2012 01:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
imbecamielI almost got driven from my room by a moth last night. I don't mean in the "Ew, there's an insect in my general vicinity! *shrieks and flees*" sense. Nope, I'm not one to freak out over bugs. I find them fascinating, often pretty, I've had pet crickets, pet snakes-who-eat-crickets (erm... not at the same time), and I'm pretty much the go-to person when bugs, frogs, and other such creepy-crawlies somehow make their way inside.
Bugs outside are great and interesting. Bugs inside, generally not so much. I draw the line at them being in my bed. Not cool. Especially when it's dark, and I don't have my glasses and am therefore feeling a bit vulnerable and off-balance as it is.
But all that's just set up for what happened last night.
There was a moth flying around our room as we were getting ready for bed. A stupidly big one. Which might have been more interesting, except that it didn't sound like a moth... it sounded like a gigantic, angry bee. Or a demented hummingbird. (What? I know a demented hummingbird when I hear one.) It was keeping up by the ceiling, wouldn't go anywhere where I could catch it, kill it, or herd it out of the room.
But eh, it's probably just excited by the lights. And it's not like moths are malevolent, right? So I just turn on a light away from my bed, wait for the moth to go to a different part of the room, turn off the lights, and figure it'll probably settle down soon, or go bang against the windows once they're the biggest light source.
I like moths. They're pretty, and cute, and often fascinating. But when they're flying, they turn into the stupidest drunk drivers ever. All crazy loop-de-loops and running into everything, and going everywhere except a remotely sensible, helpful direction. But after a few minutes of insane buzzing and bumping into the ceiling, the curtains, the bookcase, the walls, the vents, etc., it apparently decides to put down the beer and sleep it off. Yay, quiet! All's well with the world, and I start to drift off.
And then... there's a surprisingly loud thud very close to my head. After a split second for my half-asleep brain to catch up with the sound, I'm bolt upright, flailing, light's on... And yes. Yes, that thing is crawling around on my pillow.
At which point my reaction pretty much goes to aasdfhdjslkafhdajskKill-It-With-Fire.
Only it takes off again now that the light's on, and is once more out of reach, bumping into everything it can find up by the ceiling. Lovely. If I had had a blowtorch, I probably would have happily turned it on the thing, never mind the damage to the house. But I can't get to it. And by now it's about one in the morning, so I can't very well call for taller backup. So when it finally gets far away from my bed and settles again, I go back to bed.
And the thing is still buzzing around in the dark like a demented, drunken bumblebee-hummingbird hybrid. It's not long before I am literally praying that it will just sleep, or get low enough for the cat to catch it, or just miraculously drop dead. But no.
I finally relax enough to ignore it and start to fall asleep again. And then... there is another highly suspicious thud within a couple feet of my head and the buzzing's stopped. I'm up again, and Neffie gets the light on, but of course now there's absolutely no sign of it.
So I grab my pillow and my robe, and say fine, I'm going to go sleep on the couch tonight. I figured if the thing wants to chase me, great - let's see it search the whole house for me. Good luck. I'll just laugh and hope it gets lost in the pump room somewhere. (Obviously, I was feeling somewhat irrationally vindictive as well as tired at that point. It's possible the two are somehow connected.)
Buuuut... Nef wasn't exactly happy with that idea, and said if I abandoned her alone with the crazy moth she'd definitely get no more sleep for the rest of the night. It hadn't shown any interest in her thus far, but with me gone it might think she was an acceptable substitute.
I reluctantly searched through my blankets and, finding no sign of it whatsoever, settled back in bed even more reluctantly, having no idea where it might've crawled off to. This was not the kind of moth that gets smushed and dies a quiet death in a pile of shiny, delicate wing dust if you drop a blanket on it. No, it's the sort of big insect that crunches like bones and makes you go D: when you hit it.
Needless to say, I was more than a little twitchy after that, and kept jerking awake every time a sheet brushed my face or leg, or I thought I heard rustling somewhere in the room.
So now I'm feeling tired and sleep-deprived and making a ridiculously long LJ post. All because someone apparently decided it'd be a good idea to send the most moronic wannabe-assassin moth in the history of ever to attempt to smother me in my sleep with its prodigious wing dust. Or something.
I'd hoped I could deal with it this morning, but I haven't seen it anywhere today. I'm afraid it's nursing its hangover and its grudge in a dark corner behind my bed somewhere, waiting for me to go to sleep so it can make another attempt. ;_;
Bugs outside are great and interesting. Bugs inside, generally not so much. I draw the line at them being in my bed. Not cool. Especially when it's dark, and I don't have my glasses and am therefore feeling a bit vulnerable and off-balance as it is.
But all that's just set up for what happened last night.
There was a moth flying around our room as we were getting ready for bed. A stupidly big one. Which might have been more interesting, except that it didn't sound like a moth... it sounded like a gigantic, angry bee. Or a demented hummingbird. (What? I know a demented hummingbird when I hear one.) It was keeping up by the ceiling, wouldn't go anywhere where I could catch it, kill it, or herd it out of the room.
But eh, it's probably just excited by the lights. And it's not like moths are malevolent, right? So I just turn on a light away from my bed, wait for the moth to go to a different part of the room, turn off the lights, and figure it'll probably settle down soon, or go bang against the windows once they're the biggest light source.
I like moths. They're pretty, and cute, and often fascinating. But when they're flying, they turn into the stupidest drunk drivers ever. All crazy loop-de-loops and running into everything, and going everywhere except a remotely sensible, helpful direction. But after a few minutes of insane buzzing and bumping into the ceiling, the curtains, the bookcase, the walls, the vents, etc., it apparently decides to put down the beer and sleep it off. Yay, quiet! All's well with the world, and I start to drift off.
And then... there's a surprisingly loud thud very close to my head. After a split second for my half-asleep brain to catch up with the sound, I'm bolt upright, flailing, light's on... And yes. Yes, that thing is crawling around on my pillow.
At which point my reaction pretty much goes to aasdfhdjslkafhdajskKill-It-With-Fire.
Only it takes off again now that the light's on, and is once more out of reach, bumping into everything it can find up by the ceiling. Lovely. If I had had a blowtorch, I probably would have happily turned it on the thing, never mind the damage to the house. But I can't get to it. And by now it's about one in the morning, so I can't very well call for taller backup. So when it finally gets far away from my bed and settles again, I go back to bed.
And the thing is still buzzing around in the dark like a demented, drunken bumblebee-hummingbird hybrid. It's not long before I am literally praying that it will just sleep, or get low enough for the cat to catch it, or just miraculously drop dead. But no.
I finally relax enough to ignore it and start to fall asleep again. And then... there is another highly suspicious thud within a couple feet of my head and the buzzing's stopped. I'm up again, and Neffie gets the light on, but of course now there's absolutely no sign of it.
So I grab my pillow and my robe, and say fine, I'm going to go sleep on the couch tonight. I figured if the thing wants to chase me, great - let's see it search the whole house for me. Good luck. I'll just laugh and hope it gets lost in the pump room somewhere. (Obviously, I was feeling somewhat irrationally vindictive as well as tired at that point. It's possible the two are somehow connected.)
Buuuut... Nef wasn't exactly happy with that idea, and said if I abandoned her alone with the crazy moth she'd definitely get no more sleep for the rest of the night. It hadn't shown any interest in her thus far, but with me gone it might think she was an acceptable substitute.
I reluctantly searched through my blankets and, finding no sign of it whatsoever, settled back in bed even more reluctantly, having no idea where it might've crawled off to. This was not the kind of moth that gets smushed and dies a quiet death in a pile of shiny, delicate wing dust if you drop a blanket on it. No, it's the sort of big insect that crunches like bones and makes you go D: when you hit it.
Needless to say, I was more than a little twitchy after that, and kept jerking awake every time a sheet brushed my face or leg, or I thought I heard rustling somewhere in the room.
So now I'm feeling tired and sleep-deprived and making a ridiculously long LJ post. All because someone apparently decided it'd be a good idea to send the most moronic wannabe-assassin moth in the history of ever to attempt to smother me in my sleep with its prodigious wing dust. Or something.
I'd hoped I could deal with it this morning, but I haven't seen it anywhere today. I'm afraid it's nursing its hangover and its grudge in a dark corner behind my bed somewhere, waiting for me to go to sleep so it can make another attempt. ;_;
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-05-07 06:57 pm (UTC)*totally fails*
LOL!!! I'm sorry... but having been there, done that (including the whole "aasdfhdjslkafhdajskKill-It-With-Fire"... I swear, getting work up in the night by any creature, be it insect or animal, will turn even the most fanatic PETA member into a murderous avenger), I have to giggle pretty insanely at this.
But know that under the giggles and snorts, there *is* genuine sympathy. :)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-10 03:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-07 06:58 pm (UTC)So, yeah, flying insects or big ones that crawl fast and I aren't friends. At all. Yes, I studied biology at uni for six years, but zoology was always my least favorite topic. I decided to go into plant molecular biology for a reason. The worst you do there is scrunch up shock-frozen plant leaves in a mortar...
And I hope you catch the culprit or manage to get it out of your room another way. Crossing my fingers.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-10 04:06 am (UTC)But yeah. Even though I can deal with it all rationally enough during the day... it's a bit harder when the thing winds up crawling in bed with me. Now that just hits all kinds of Do Not Want buttons. But, well, again: oldest sister. Couldn't very well abandon her to the thing. *g*
Fortunately - or unfortunately - the Horrific Moth of Terror has yet to make another appearance. So I can't confirm death... but I have hopes that it managed to bash what little brains it had on a nice, hard surface. All the same, I've been checking my bed carefully each night before I go to sleep. :P
no subject
Date: 2012-05-07 07:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-10 04:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-07 10:46 pm (UTC)Yeah, generally I find moths pretty cool, but one large enough to make thumpy noises, which then lands in the bed...um, no. NO.
Also, not being able to find it later. *shudder* Let us hope that it beat its brains to mush against all the random hard surfaces it was throwing itself against, and then crawled off somewhere to die slowly....
no subject
Date: 2012-05-10 04:16 am (UTC)Heheh, yeeeah. Moths? Awesome. Horrifying mutant wannabe attack-moths? Not so much. I'm very much hoping that it did somehow manage to brain damage itself too badly to go on. Not having found it yet... does not make me particularly happy. I'm still a bit twitchy whenever I hear unaccounted-for rustling noises in our room. If it makes another appearance, I will be very tempted to just start swinging with one of our swords, never mind the damage to the ceiling and furniture.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-08 12:42 am (UTC)Bugs get so incredibly obnoxious where lights - or lack of them - are concerned. I've been through the exact same thing you have only with stupid flies who seem enamored with my face when I'm trying to sleep. Sometimes I manage to get the little creeps if I'm able to team up with one of the cats, otherwise I have to turn on the hall light in the hopes idiot bug will leave my room. They never do :P
no subject
Date: 2012-05-10 04:22 am (UTC)Aside from the knee-jerk "aaugh, get OFF me!" reaction when something actually gets into my bed... yeah, the thing that really tends to get to me about bugs is now annoyingly stupid they are in their persistence. Flies that aren't even the biting kind, yet for no apparent reason insist on landing on your face... Or, sometimes worse, that ONE mosquito, whining around the room when you're trying to sleep. With them, it sometimes gets to the point where I'm just begging them to settle down and bite me already, just to get it over with. XD
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 02:15 am (UTC)In reality, we all know that your arch-Nemesis is going back to the drawing board in a dank lair someplace because the assassin moth plan totally failed. Time to drag up the next scheme...
no subject
Date: 2012-05-21 04:14 am (UTC)Pfft, I know. The new-and-improved evol plot is likely to yet-unimagined horrors. Possibly including, but not limited to, teams of assault spiders rappelling down from the ceiling, and swarms of kamikaze mosquitoes orchestrating synchronized dive-bombings. Or possibly it'll look more like today's Non Sequitur comic. Apparently I'm not alone in my experiences. It really is a plot, I tell you. And evil, evil plot....
no subject
Date: 2012-05-29 03:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-29 04:10 am (UTC)Best of luck to you in dealing with it. I hope it manages to go concuss itself quietly somewhere so you can get some sleep. :/
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