Stuff, and... stuff. And me being whiney.

[imbecamiel]

I believe I mentioned a while ago that I was going to play an offertory for church? Yeah, did it yesterday. It... miraculously managed not to be a complete disaster? No, seriously, it came pretty close to becoming one. First off, I was only able to try out the piano at church for the first time last Sunday. Since it's a keyboard, instead of an actual piano, the touch is really different, and I had a hard time transitioning to it. Then, instead of coming on Wednesday, our piano teacher wasn't able to come until Friday, so I couldn't get any last-minute advice/changes on my playing until then. Which was okay, 'cause I've been playing the song for a while, but... Then, Sunday morning, I found that, oddly enough, nothing in my closet matched anything else. Okay, yes, logically impossible, but when I'm already nervous? Can not concentrate on clothes. Then I couldn't get makeup on without smearing it, which is... embarrassing. But somehow, I still managed to get ready on time! And then our car wouldn't start. And since Dad and Eric had already left for church early... we didn't have another car. And no one else from church who lives around here would have room for three more people. But somehow, between us, and with advice over the phone from Dad, we managed to charge the battery and get it started. However, instead of getting to church early, we got there just seconds before the service started. So I didn't have time to run through the song again even once. Even so, with much fear and trembling (lots of trembling - and dizziness, trouble breathing, pounding heart, threatening nausea... :P), and a whole lot of praying, I carried on. And I didn't make any really terrible mistakes! (And, as an added bonus, somehow even managed to avoid tripping over my purse and landing on my face, like I did in the middle of the church financial meeting last week...) Thank You, God! *is ded of relief*

Thus ends my highly over-dramatic and pitiful tale of woe. Yes, I know, it's absolutely pathetic how worked up I get over playing the piano in public. But... I can't help it, and have no idea how to change, despite the fact that I really, really want to. Doing it more often does not help. Just gives me recurring nightmares, actually. :P

Aaand I've finally nearly finished up the arts grant application! Whole lot of veeery complicated forms to fill out, of which they need eight copies. O.o I only hope I've gotten everything right.  Now... I wait. It'll be a month, at least, before I get any response. So.

Oh, oh, and we're going to see Pirates of Penzance on Friday, performed by the New York Gilbert and Sullivan Players! Can. Not. Wait. *is sooo happy*

In not-so-good news... I'm sick again. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SICK AGAIN! Ergh. Why is it that some winters I'll only get sick maybe once, while others I barely seem to get well? Just when I was finally over that ridiculously long-lasting lingering losing-my-voice-in-the-mornings stuff, I manage to pick up yet another cold, complete with very sore throat and... starting to lose my voice. Hazards of spending so much time with young children, I guess. Wah.


Clicks for my dragon babies?




Heh heh, really hoping to get at least one male stone dragon. I mean, four females in a row? Seriously? ;P

Meh. I'm kinda whiney today, aren't I? Sorry...

Comments

[scarvenartist.livejournal.com]

Oh, gaaah! I cannot even imagine the kind of panics I would have been in, anticipating playing the piano and already nervous, and then to have car problems and no reliable manly figure around to immediately deal with it. Just...*trembles in sympathy* But you got through it! *cheers* Yay you! I'm glad the Lord gave you help.

(Heh, and really, no need to apologize for nervousness about playing in public.... I completely understand. LOL, part of me is glad that my piano skillz have degenerated such that now, I will never be asked to play in public. *g* Though...uh...I know that's not really the solution, or the reason I stopped playing...but still. I can be happy about it. *grins*)

we're going to see Pirates of Penzance on Friday, performed by the New York Gilbert and Sullivan Players! Can. Not. Wait. *is sooo happy*

Oh, I am filled with blackest YEALOUSY! They put on Penzance here back in November, and I so wanted to go! You must tell everything; that sounds like so much fun. *bouncies in happiness for you* :D

[imbecamiel.livejournal.com]

Heh heh, yes indeed. When it was looking like we weren't going to get the car going, and I was kind of standing there wringing my hands, Nef (being the good, comforting sister she is) said, "Well... you might not have to do it after all!" to which I replied (um, wailed?), "But then I'd have to do this all over again!" Because really, when you've gone through all the preparatory nervousness, got everything ready, and it comes right up to The Time, the only thing worse than going through with it is... not doing it because it's been delayed. :P But yes! The Lord is good, and I... survived. :D

(Heh, and I'm glad you don't think it's ridiculous that I get so worked up over the whole thing. :) LOL, I kinda feel pathetic when other kids at church - years younger than me - are all, "Pfft. Me, nervous about playing in public? Nah, no big deal, really. Playing on the spur of the moment? Taking requests? Improvising? Sure, not a problem, I can do that." I mean, really, the main pianist for our church is about four or five years younger than me. :P)

He, I'm so looking forward to tomorrow night. (LOL, and quite relieved that I'm recovering enough to enjoy it.) *bounces happily* I shall certainly tell you about it! (Aw, I feel bad, though, that you weren't able to go to it. *is sad* Hopefully another time!)

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

Oh man, nerves before doing ministering through music. Yep. Been there, felt that *exact* kind of nausea. :P

I'm glad it all turned out well in the end.

Hope you feel better!

[imbecamiel.livejournal.com]

Heh heh, glad to hear that kind of terror about trying to play in front of others doesn't sound completely foreign and ridiculous to everyone. Um, not that I actually want anyone to share my pain, but... misery loves company? *g* That, and others who I've asked whether they get nervous - people several years younger than me - have responded basically, "Eh," *shrug* "no big deal, really. Improvising? Taking requests on the spur of the moment? Sure, we can do that." Which kinda tends to leave me feeling that much more absurd. :P

Thanks for the good wishes! I think I may be getting over the worst of it, for the time being at least... *is hopeful*

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

Not ridiculous at all, at least to me. I envy those who can simply shrug off stage fright, because I've never really been one of them. Invariably, up until the first note of the song, I will have forgotten ALL the words. Fortunately, it usually comes back once the music starts, but it makes for a pretty stressful run up, trying frantically to remember the words and hoping the utter panic isn't showing on my face. LOL

[imbecamiel.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I can imagine so. I've only sung in public a couple times, and always with a large enough group that, should I falter, things would keep going without anyone likely to notice. But still, the realization that something you could sing/play in your sleep the day before is just not coming is certainly no comfort. :P

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

Nope, not a comfort at all! Which is why I mostly just sing back-up now and play the guitar. Much less pressure!

[silivren-tinu.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear you're sick again, mellon-nin! *hugs* There seems to be a lot of sickness going around at the moment. :( I hope you'll be feeling better soon!

*sends lots of TEA and hugs*

[imbecamiel.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thanks for the good wishes! Bleh, it's been ridiculous how often I've been getting sick - and how long it's been hanging on when I am sick. :P But! I am finally doing better, and will henceforward be taking ridiculous amounts of vitamins in an effort to stay that way for a while. (Okay, not too ridiculous. I really don't want to get sick from taking too many of such things. Very fortunate that I have a doctor for a father, who can tell me the proper combinations. *g*)