Apr. 9th, 2017 07:59 pm
imbecamiel: (Insane Mind)
[personal profile] imbecamiel
Finally got to the doctor a couple days ago. Always nerve-wracking, meeting a new doctor for the first time, but I unexpectedly lost my regular doctor recently, which is one reason it took me so long to get to see someone about stuff.

Anyhow, she thinks the problem with my hip's a labral tear - basically damaged the damaged the cartilage around my hip socket. Having a tear like that, the cartilage can basically curl in and get caught in the joint. Whiiiich would explain what's been making it hurt worse and the catching/popping issues I've been having.

Ankles are a bit more unclear. There are a couple things that might be torn, but it was hard for her to tell much. She's referring me to a specialist to try to figure out what's happening there and to have a look at the hip. Short term plan, I've got some braces to get me through the next week with the black belt exam when I'm doing more strenuous stuff, wraps and orthotics to wear around the house, then gonna see how things are functioning once I can rest everything rather than constantly straining and reinjuring myself. Long term, may wind up needing one or more surgeries to get things straightened out, but we'll see.

I think my body suddenly realized I'll be 30 in a few days and decided, "Hmm, 30 years... Yeah, that'd be a good, long career most places. Think it's about time I retire now. You're not, like, going to need me around here or anything, are you?" Honestly, though, at this point it's a relief just to have something more concrete to say than "I have injured myself and now everything hurts." (LOL, now I'm getting visions of myself in one of those commercials: Help, I've fallen and I can't get up...)

Speaking of - I'm turning 30 on Wednesday. Which is... weird. Mostly I don't care enough to have any kind of crisis about it. XD I don't know, in a way it feels like a Big Deal, but while I wouldn't say my teens/early twenties were awful by any means, there was just so much really hard mental and emotional stuff, growing pains, all that. For all I'm a nostalgic person and have trouble with change, I wouldn't actually want to turn back time, and there are so many ways that I feel like things have steadied out and I've improved as a person in recent years. More than anything, I'm happy with the direction my life seems to be headed and excited to be heading into a new phase of it. Getting another year older in the process isn't traumatic.

Still weird, though, the thought of not being in my twenties anymore. 

Date: 2017-04-10 01:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm glad the doctor was able to id some of the stuff! I definitely know that feeling of relief, to be able have something concrete rather than just "things hurt ow."

And I admire your approach to the big 3-0! I'm having enough of a crisis of entering my late 20s in a couple weeks, lol...

Date: 2017-04-12 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It is really good to have some specifics. (Heh, also, people taking things a liiiiitle more seriously when I have trouble with something because, oh, yeah, it is an actual problem.)

It is really weird moving into a somewhat different demographic, isn't it? Even if it's not like, "Oh, I passed a milestone and now my life is completely changed overnight!" it still... idk, it's a mental shift. But I really think so many things do seem to get better as I get older that I'm looking forward to seeing what's next.

Date: 2017-04-10 11:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
OW! Labial tear sounds as painful now that you have a diagnosis as it did when you described the issues before you knew what the issue was. I hope once you can rest it that you won't need surgery and that it won't cause any long-term issues as you get older.

Speaking of older... HOW DID I NOT KNOW YOU WERE ABOUT TO TURN 30??? Not that I think 30 is old, but I think I am just so terrible about realizing how much time has passed, plus the fact that online friendships tend to be ageless, that I still tend to think of all my friends as the age they were when I first met them. LOL Which is silly and illogical, but that's my weird brain for you.

I'm so glad you have a philosophical attitude about turning 30. I was kind glad to turn 30? I never felt particularly confident in my 20s, and somehow being able to say, "I'm 30" actually gave me a settled feeling of, "Now you can't argue with me because I've reached a greater maturity where I can be taken more seriously." Not I ever really *have* reached maturity, mind you... but at the time I thought I had! LOL Now I'm in the happy stage of life where I'm approaching the age of "old enough to unapologetically do the things I enjoy most," even if I do look around at other women my age and think, "Erm, am I supposed to look that matronly and do all those Worthy Things and never talk about goofy stuff now?"

To which I swiftly reply to myself, "Nahhh."
Edited Date: 2017-04-10 11:32 am (UTC)

Date: 2017-04-12 08:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It is definitely Not Fun. On the other hand, I think certain people at karate are now convinced that I wasn't just being a wimp when I said I was hurting or having trouble with things... :P Hopefully things will start to improve, once I'm not just constantly making it worse, here. Prep class last night went well, so I've got a couple days to rest, then just the final exam Saturday before I can take things easy.

LOL! I know what you mean, though. You meet people at a particular point in their life online, and - I think largely because you don't see them in person, don't have that same sense of time passing - in your own mind it seems like they're always the same general age that they were when you were first getting to know them. Especially in friendships that tend to center more around fandom and such, where differing ages aren't really relevant to whether you get along, as opposed to friendships in RL that tend more frequently to form around being in a similar life stage.

But yeah - 30. Very weird. I do think, though, that like you said there is a certain sense of being more of an Official Adult with that number. Like, I don't know, the 20s are a Probationary Adult phase? Doesn't mean you actually have to grow out of the fun stuff (man, it makes me so sad and frustrated, the number of people who do seem to think once you reach a certain point all those other "silly interests" should evaporate), but now it's maybe officially not a childish stage. It's just... you.

(Then again, just this Monday the mom of a couple of my students at karate was asking about whether I went to a particular local high school because she thought I was 16, soooooooo. Maybe haven't quite gotten to the "people are convinced I'm a real adult" point yet. But hey, way to make me feel simultaneously good and despairing over my percieved age. XD)

Date: 2017-04-10 08:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
So glad you were able to get some concrete answers, and some braces and orthotics to get you through the week! Very much hoping the final testing goes well--and that after this you can take a much-needed break to allow things to heal and repair. (And I will be praying no surgery is necessary!!)

THIRTY. I've got a couple months yet, but it's been so weird realizing this is the closing of the first official "adulthood" decade. Maybe that's why it feels so strange? I know when I was in my teens, I really didn't think much beyond my twenties--because that was the decade when you were supposed to magically transform into a Mature Responsible Person, Who Knows How To Function In Society. XD I think what I do find so comfortable about the thought of turning 30 though is just...the lack of pressure? Not that I don't want to continue growing and learning, but bungling things along the way and being okay with that, and being comfortable in my own skin--worlds better than being on the cusp of 20, with no idea, and terrified. XD

Date: 2017-04-12 08:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you for your prayers! I had a sort of final prep class last night that went well, so at this point I can take it easy for a couple days before Saturday. Very much looking forward to the chance to stop injuring myself for a while! XD

I know, right? Thirty. o.O I do kind of feel like my twenties were kind of this stage where I felt like, "Oh no! I'm supposed to be an adult! Shouldn't I have these things figured out by now?" And now it's more moving into, "Ah, I see. I'm pretty sure all the other adults are faking it 90% of the time too." You get some things figured out, some things get easier, yeah, but also just - like you said, being more okay with who you are and with working things out as you go.

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Date: 2017-04-13 07:46 am (UTC)
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